Chuck Norris facts

[PIPboy]

- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

- Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

- If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck
Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

- Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb.

- There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.

- Chuck Norris invented cancer because he was tired of killing people.

- When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

- When a tsunami happens, it's because Chuck Norris has been swimming
laps in the ocean.

- Chuck Norris clips his toenails with a chain saw. But he holds it
backwards.

- Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw Chuck Norris
closing in.

- Chuck Norris's belly button is actually a power outlet.

- Camels have a hump because Chuck Norris needed a place to store his
kills.

- The only thing Chuck Norris fears is Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

- Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks
and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction
was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took
his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every
second Wednesday of the month.

- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet
for Chuck Norris.

- If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but
because he can piss on whatever the fuck he wants.

- The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.

- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs
of life there.

- A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied,
"Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his
name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing
this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

- Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets
the information he wants.

_________________
"When I was five, my uncle was decapitated by a watermelon."
--Dave

[wookie]

Ima još jedna zakon: Chuck Norris zna zadnju znamenku boja pi:))).

_________________
"There is no passion like that of a functionary for his function."
- Georges Clemenceau

[buba]

Kaj nije to već neko negdje napisao?

Aha. Da. Je. Krcko. Ovdje.